Me

My life's pretty pathetic I guess. All the shits that happened. So.. A part of my life begin like this.... I lost my father at the age of 10, literally. I hate him cause he is such an useless person. Being a burden to my mum and to the whole family. He couldn't even support himself and still dares to ask money from my mum. Gamble addict himself, made my mum suffer. Being a man, he don't even feel shameful for using a woman's money. Despite having limbs, he still choose to gamble and not work. Totally gave up on him. I will not and never take him as my father. My father is dead. And at the age of 6 I lost my brother, literally too. I don't really know what happened but more or less, I guess it's because of one reason. When I was young, I played with my brother a lot. Sharing the all the toys. However, I always managed to break it or make my mum pissed to the extend that she will throw away the toys. Maybe it's because of that, that's why he hated me. Now, we barely even talked once a year. When we saw each other outside, we don't even say "hi" and just walk passed like strangers. Because of my childishness, I lost my brother love a long time ago. 3 years ago, when I was aged 16. A month after I ended my O-lvl, I lost my grandma. For real. Didn't even have a chance to show her my results and tell her "Ahma! I'm going poly!" Didn't even have a chance to tell her "I LOVE YOU". She just left without saying goodbye. I miss her.. She had a fall a few days ago after a family gathering at the end of November 2009. After the fall, she had a stroke. She passed away on 1st December 2009. I clearly remembered I cried so badly. She was the one that always care for me and protect me. And now, she's gone. For now, I take it that God is going to take good care of her somewhere far away. As for now, I'm doing quite alright if you ask me. I don't have many friends cause I don't really socialize with people. I have some best friend though. Some who are always there for me when I needed them. Some who knows how bad I'm but still talk good about me. Of course, I have my mum at my side too. She's the one that will care for me and give me advice whenever I needed them. There is also someone. Someone very special yet complicated in my life. Someone who I fall in love again who is now with another guy. Alright, I won't go to the extend of bringing in her into this topic. If anyone is interested, wait for my next post.